if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
