did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
