i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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