We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
