how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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