my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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