He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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