with your own penis?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You pole danced in your parka.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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