is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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