And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
