im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Less talking, more tequila
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
