dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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