I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
