Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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