The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Randomize
