420 ftw
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize