i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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