God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
