I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's no shave November. This is our time.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
