How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
