I'm going to jail i love you
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
