What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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