i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
