I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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