Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
