This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
