new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
