You work out of a Hotel?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
