you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
