Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you had me at cake vodka
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
