Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
