ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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