To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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