Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
