Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
