my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
