what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I AM VODKA MAN
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
