Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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