it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
