Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
