He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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