do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
