In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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