You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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