I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
