dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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