their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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