Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
