IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
