Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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