Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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