every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
