hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I understand Curling. That high.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
